valentines nearing!
happy! HEEE.
sad! BOOOO.
yeah i understand. how you singles out there wish for 'BOYFRIENDS/GIRLFRIENDS FOR RENTAL!' or 'DATE FOR RENT!' hahaha yeah. YOU WISH. i wish. (: and as for you naughty slutty not so single ones. shut up and stop haolianing. roll eyes. jarrod shion and i are so gonna stalk all you slutty couples on valentines! watch out! haha anyhows. plans for valentines? all the roses and chocolates? so obiang lah.
for me, i think for a first date. must take all five senses in consideration lo.
sight. smell. hear. taste. touch.
SIGHT. talk to me in the face. dont look here look there like your date's invisible. i know lahh some other girls/guys hotter than your date but please, valentines day leh more LOMANTIC abit can. and horny tree humping guys, dont talk to the girl's cleavage. talk to their fugly face or expect that invigorating splash of water in the face. smiles.
SMELL. haiya this one no need to say hor. you know you stink. spray some nice smell things lo. but please, be gentle on those. try not to get yourself in the Guinness book of records by finishing a bottle a day (or knocking your first dates unconscious).
HEAR. dont act smart in the end not smart. dont act chim and look like an idiot. no religion, politics or money. it's one thing to tell her more about yourself. it's another to tell her that you drove your 1 week old Lamborghini into the sea because you didn't like the colour of it. and i know. guys, hold on to you ego. let people finish talking rather than getting people interrupted every 2 seconds. it gets on everyone's nerves. duhhh. and bimbos and himbos out there. dont be too accommodating. dont be too much of a sure-dear-anything-you-say-dear kinda person. damn act lah. "i love travelling", "me too", "i love rabbits" " me too", " i love tampons" "me too". comeon i'm sure you can do better than this.
TASTE. let's go on a date at MACDONALDS. SLAPS. on the other hand, dont go lawrys that kind also lahh. siao. simple nice romantic place can liao. like a picnic follow by a quiet stroll at botanical gardens. or simply an exotic dinner at arab street. go to those crowded noisy places and say i love you, your date will just HAHHH? WHAT? HUHHHHH? ORHHHHHH okayokay love you too!!! she might lose her voice.
TOUCH. now now boys. hold on to your dick. you can jack off at all the hentais at home. yes, and behind closed doors thanks! a simple light touch on the arm can do wonders. you never know. for a first date. dont get too comfy bahh. dont give the other party the wrong message. and girls, dont THROW yourself helplessly into guys' arms just because a fly flew pass you. please. that's damn slut lah. go find a giggolo or something. but if the feeling's all right. go on and hold his/her hand, and that sweet touch might build up to a sensual kiss by the end of the night. dreamy looks.
haiya most importantly, your date should be fun. enjoy yourself. dont be like me. a loner on valentines. (:
happy! HEEE.
sad! BOOOO.
yeah i understand. how you singles out there wish for 'BOYFRIENDS/GIRLFRIENDS FOR RENTAL!' or 'DATE FOR RENT!' hahaha yeah. YOU WISH. i wish. (: and as for you naughty slutty not so single ones. shut up and stop haolianing. roll eyes. jarrod shion and i are so gonna stalk all you slutty couples on valentines! watch out! haha anyhows. plans for valentines? all the roses and chocolates? so obiang lah.
for me, i think for a first date. must take all five senses in consideration lo.
sight. smell. hear. taste. touch.
SIGHT. talk to me in the face. dont look here look there like your date's invisible. i know lahh some other girls/guys hotter than your date but please, valentines day leh more LOMANTIC abit can. and horny tree humping guys, dont talk to the girl's cleavage. talk to their fugly face or expect that invigorating splash of water in the face. smiles.
SMELL. haiya this one no need to say hor. you know you stink. spray some nice smell things lo. but please, be gentle on those. try not to get yourself in the Guinness book of records by finishing a bottle a day (or knocking your first dates unconscious).
HEAR. dont act smart in the end not smart. dont act chim and look like an idiot. no religion, politics or money. it's one thing to tell her more about yourself. it's another to tell her that you drove your 1 week old Lamborghini into the sea because you didn't like the colour of it. and i know. guys, hold on to you ego. let people finish talking rather than getting people interrupted every 2 seconds. it gets on everyone's nerves. duhhh. and bimbos and himbos out there. dont be too accommodating. dont be too much of a sure-dear-anything-you-say-dear kinda person. damn act lah. "i love travelling", "me too", "i love rabbits" " me too", " i love tampons" "me too". comeon i'm sure you can do better than this.
TASTE. let's go on a date at MACDONALDS. SLAPS. on the other hand, dont go lawrys that kind also lahh. siao. simple nice romantic place can liao. like a picnic follow by a quiet stroll at botanical gardens. or simply an exotic dinner at arab street. go to those crowded noisy places and say i love you, your date will just HAHHH? WHAT? HUHHHHH? ORHHHHHH okayokay love you too!!! she might lose her voice.
TOUCH. now now boys. hold on to your dick. you can jack off at all the hentais at home. yes, and behind closed doors thanks! a simple light touch on the arm can do wonders. you never know. for a first date. dont get too comfy bahh. dont give the other party the wrong message. and girls, dont THROW yourself helplessly into guys' arms just because a fly flew pass you. please. that's damn slut lah. go find a giggolo or something. but if the feeling's all right. go on and hold his/her hand, and that sweet touch might build up to a sensual kiss by the end of the night. dreamy looks.
haiya most importantly, your date should be fun. enjoy yourself. dont be like me. a loner on valentines. (:
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